It is truly
interesting to see how other people react to death, people can be so awkward
and different about it. It’s as if they
have never experienced it themselves so they have no idea as to what’s going
on. People definitely can say the wrong
things easily. One thing I’m sure people
going through this difficult time hate hearing is, “I know how you feel.” Because I feel like saying “No actually you
don’t, you have no idea what this feels like, how dare you try to compare
something to this.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?” yet another phrase used that gets rather annoying after a while. Obviously we aren’t going to be asking for a lot during this time and the only thing we want is the person we can’t get back. “It will be all right.” No it won’t be all right, We just lost one of the closest people to us, how do you expect everything to be all right? Which in the long run most the time everything does work out but at the time it doesn’t seem like anything will ever work out again.
People going through this difficult time do need to realize that people do feel awkward during these times and they are just trying to help. But other people need to recognize the appropriate things to say.
Photo credit:
“Is there anything I can do for you?” yet another phrase used that gets rather annoying after a while. Obviously we aren’t going to be asking for a lot during this time and the only thing we want is the person we can’t get back. “It will be all right.” No it won’t be all right, We just lost one of the closest people to us, how do you expect everything to be all right? Which in the long run most the time everything does work out but at the time it doesn’t seem like anything will ever work out again.
People going through this difficult time do need to realize that people do feel awkward during these times and they are just trying to help. But other people need to recognize the appropriate things to say.
Photo credit:
http://www.onloanfromheaven.com/2011/12/what-not-to-say-to-birthmom.html
"Never say two words when you can say none."
ReplyDeleteI've dealt with four deaths in my life. Three of them of common causes - old age and cancer - but one of something much more tragic. But that's beside the point.
You are spot on, saying 'you don't know how I feel,' because even if two separate people each lost a friend or family member, the relationships each person had with their friend/family could be worlds apart.
On another note, common courtesies such as "is there anything I can do you?" are emphatically ineffective. I know they're trying to help, but honestly, do they think having a chat or bringing me food will make forget that someone I love just died? Please, people who say this, just don't. It just gets really old when person after person asks you that when you know, and they know, there is nothing to help.
And as far as your quotation "It will be all right", my response in the past to those who say that has sometimes been, "And how the [expletive] could you possibly know that? Can you see the future?"
Great, well thought-out, deep post.